Mediocre at Best

7 months into my 7th year of teaching sounds like a good time to reflect on the current school year. My mental health has taken a turn with year 3 of pandemic teaching. There have definitely been times when I could have sat down to write, but I zone out instead. I thought the 2019-2020 school year was tough, then 2020-2021 was slightly tougher. Nothing could have prepared me for the 2021-2022 school year. It is by far the hardest year of teaching I’ve ever experienced and I’ve had my share of stories over the years. 

All around, we are struggling, the students, the teachers, the admin, everyone. I know everyone in their respective jobs outside of teaching is also struggling. So, what I am bringing to the table is only the perspective of a teacher in the current climate. We started out the year, face-to-face with every child, none of that hybrid mess, which was good and bad. Kids came back from the virtual world and mixed in with kids they hadn't seen in over two years. Then, the devious licks of the TikTok world joined our school and many others across the country. We had students trying to deface school property all for the name of a TikTok video. In the midst of this happening, there were also fights happening in the bathrooms with students recording it and then sharing the videos with others. 

Somehow, I ended up in the middle of one when a student tried to start punching another student who was going into my classroom. I was pushed into a door two separate times at that moment. Exactly one week later, I had two other students fight in my classroom, these two were even friends, but had had enough of each other that day. At this point in the year, I have now broken up 6 separate fights. It's become a running joke that apparently the students come to me to break up the fights because they trust that I will do it, I told them to "stop trusting me" as a joke because it was becoming overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that they trust me enough to come to me for those things, but it's also just a lot to handle and deal with. 

I am really not sure how, but we made it through February, which is always the longest month of the year, and yes I know it's technically the shortest amount of days. As a teacher, it feels like it is 200 days long. Now, we are almost at the end of March, which means we only have two full months left and then we are out for summer. I really am not sure where the time has gone, while in it it's definitely felt like the longest year, but reflecting on it right now, it doesn't really seem so long at all. 

This year wouldn't have gone as well as it has, which again, is relative if it wasn't for my two teacher besties, Candace and Bri. We've kept each other sane throughout the whole mess of the year. Bri- who is my co-teacher and has been since last year, is my other half. I believe that our classes truly are better because we are together. Candace- 8th-grade social studies teacher who is right next door to me. This is her first year of teaching, but she is close to my age so we've hit it off since day one and have been there for each other. In general, I don't know what I would have done the past couple of years if it hadn't been for the staff at my school. They are so polite and are helpful in almost every situation. My admin team has been nothing but supportive the entire time and I am thankful for them each and every day. 

There were definitely some tough moments so far this school year, but these are also some of the funniest kids and I am loving watching them grow into young adults. One phrase that will stick with me after this year is, "GET THERE," this was apparently used to make fun of a student, but when we first heard it from a student we turned it into our catchphrase when students weren't understanding or were not on the same page, we'd say, "Get there, (insert kids name)" We've also out used, "I'm Fine, It's Fine, Everything is Fine," saying, but it really does sum up most of our lives. My all-time favorite saying from this year, however, is something that I tell my principal and my admin team quite often and they just laugh at me and roll their eyes saying this will never happen. It's "I am just trying to be mediocre, at best." 

For whatever the reason, I seem to have a niche working with the kids that struggle and that have IEPs, our numbers are usually fairly decent and I get students to apply themselves when in other cases, they may not. Any time anyone from the district is here for a visit or for whatever they are looking for, most of the time they come to my room and check out what our students are doing, and it's one of those things I just know is going to happen if they are on the schedule to come. And because of this, I always jokingly say that I am just going to start being mediocre at best so they will stop coming into my room. This is when the eye rolls ensue. I guess I should take it as a compliment, and I usually do, but sometimes I just want to be left alone to teach my kids, but I guess in reality I am left alone other than those times. 

Overall, I would say that despite all the hardships and struggles I have, and the kids have faced this school year, I am still going to miss them after they leave us. 

Love from the girl who is struggling harder than ever to be there for her kids but also give them the tough love they sometimes need. 

Why is February the Longest Month of the Year?

 Well hello, it's been a while. I honestly feel like I say the same damn thing every time I start one of these blog posts. I need a new tag line or maybe I just need to actually write more often so I don't constantly start the next one with, it's been a while. There are so many things I could say about how things are going, but most of them would make my mother wash my 30-year-old mouth out with soap, and yes, she's actually used to me cussing around her now. I am going to try and keep this positive because we don't get anywhere with negativity and there has seriously been way too much negativity around lately. 

After winter break, we went to distance learning for two weeks and I was actually really impressed with the students. Almost all of them showed up to their designated times on both of their days. It gave me a little hope for when we were to go back and if we were to see the kids more than once a week. We started strong by setting goals for 2021 and having the students create flipgrids. They hit the ground running and even though most of them didn't show their face on their video, they did it and it was great. My co-teacher and I made the most of the situation being at home and using google meets to start a new unit. 

Now, we're into February, and the kids are working on their final projects for that same unit. We have a lot of drawers this year, and this is turning out to be the best project for them. They get to design their own graphic essay. It's something that is new to all of us, but they chose a theme, picked a few quotes from the texts we read during the unit, and are adding symbols and images that represent their themes. Their rough drafts are looking pretty fantastic, so I am looking forward to their final drafts that they are currently working on this week. Once they are finished, they are going to do a virtual gallery walk using Flipgrid again. I've been trying to normalize things as much as I can while also maintaining the distancing that is required. Moving things digitally has presented some challenges, but we are working through them. 

All in all, the amount of negativity in and out of school lately has worn me down. It's hard to hear it all around you and still keep that positive mindset. Lately, I have tried to stay away from it as best I can, but it seeps in like a bad seal on a rainy day. Which, we've actually had a lot of recently. Seasonal depression is a real thing and I definitely need some sunshine back in my life. I've tried to surround myself with different people the past few weeks which seems to help. So here's hoping the sun starts shining, the people I surround myself with stay positive and the kids keep showing up. 

Can we talk about the month of February for a minute? Why is it that every year, February, the shortest month of the year, seems incredibly longer than all the others? From a teacher standpoint, I can tell you it's one of our months where we don't have a single day off, which wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it's 100 days long! Honestly, that's the only thing I can think of. This is my 6th year of teaching, and every single year, February feels so much longer than the rest. If anyone has any other insights, send them my way! 

Love from the exhausted teacher trying to make a difference one day at a time 

Proving our 8th graders wrong

We are headed into Thanksgiving week. This year with the way our schedule was changed we only have Thursday and Friday off. I Will gladly take any time off that we can get at this point. This school year has felt longer than just the 3 months we've been here. Things will be different this year going into the holiday. Usually, we spend the day before break creating cards for a local nursing home, but there's so much information that I need to get to the kids that I don't think it will happen. Seeing them only one day a week really makes it hard to get all the information they need. We have had to pair down what we are teaching and only hit the key standards. This makes it extremely difficult to slow down and really teach the materials we want to teach. Some days I struggle, I feel like they are just barely touching the surface of topics we usually dig down deep to teach. 

This unit has definitely gone smoother than the memoir unit. I realized that starting the year (especially a year in a pandemic) with a memoir unit is harder than you'd think. You are trying to get to know the kids, they are trying to get to know you and trying to figure out what they want to share with you. At the beginning of the year, you build those relationships but it takes time. Last year we started with the suspense unit that we are currently in and I think this would have been the better way to start this year as well. But, that's in the past and we can't change any of that. All we can do is move forward with what we have and try to get as much information as we can while also testing the students left and right (definitely not my decision). 

My interns last day was on Friday. So this week will be strange to be on my own for part of the time ( I have one class alone without my co-teacher). I didn't realize how much of the small stuff she would do, so I am trying to get back into a routine of what all I have to do. Having a three day week will help make the adjustment go smoother. It was great having her, but I am happy to have my "me" time in the mornings back. It was hard some days to just sit and get stuff done when someone else is in the room and you want to make sure they know what to do or explain what it is that you are doing. 

Last week, my co-teacher and I created a youtube channel. We kept joking with our students that we were going to create one. One of our classes (5th block) was totally against us doing it and said that it wouldn't go well, we'd get zero likes or subscriptions. Bri and I took this as a challenge accepted moment and decided to go forth with a channel.. Our other classes, who supported us, helped us come up with a name and some ideas of what we should put on it. During parent-teacher conferences when we didn't have parents to call or meet with, we went ahead and did an introduction video. We then edited it and showed it to our students on Friday. As of this morning, we have 32 subscribers and 114 views. I'd say that's a pretty good start to our channel. Stay tuned for future videos. 

Love from a future youtuber. 

Hybrid Teaching is a Different Ball Game

The last time I wrote was the last day I had with my 8th graders from last year. I had barely anyone show up to play scategories. It was a very sad day for me. There was no closure. No goodbyes. These babies were off to high school. I struggled for a while with this for a while. But, I didn't have much time to mourn this, I started working on the curriculum for the new school year and that made me really happy. I was even taking GT classes at CCU so I was fairly busy and it got me excited for the new year to start. 

Fast forward to now, October, where we are a month into the 2020-2021 school year. We have been in a hybrid model since Sept 8th. Which to tell you the truth, I am not a huge fan. It limits our time to see our students to one day a week for 100 minutes (some schools are doing 50 minutes over two days). It has been a huge adjustment for all involved. I feel like I am a first-year teacher all over again. 

To add to the anxiety of the school year starting with hybrid, I have a new co-teacher and an intern along with barely knowing what I am doing. We are working well together and have come into a fairly decent "routine" of sorts. Seeing each group of students one day a week, besides virtually on Friday's, has made our time in class with them that much more important. The three of us have worked out ways to all work with the kids in different aspects of each week's lesson. 

My intern, Jess, is only with us for a few more weeks. It's crazy how fast this time has gone. This is my first experience with an intern, and I am struggling to help her become a teacher when there have been so many things stopping us from actually teaching. I am hoping that what I have been able to help her with will be enough for her to get her own classroom and succeed in the future. We have 3 weeks left and we are going to make the most of what we have because that's all we can do right now. 

Check-in on your teacher friends, they are NOT ok. I am so thankful for the mindset change I started last school year because even though I don't always follow the routines lately, I still have them in the back of my mind and it is about the only thing that's keeping me going. I am going to try and write more frequently, but we all know how that goes... 

Love from the teacher who is surviving on a whole lot of coffee and Hulu. 

Quarantine Day 72

It's been 36 days since I last wrote, which was on day 36 of quarantine. I've struggled the last month to write. I just haven't been able to put words to paper about everything going on. Today, however, I am going to try and express it. I constantly tell the kids that writing is a great outlet when you're going through a rough time, yet lately, I haven't followed my own advice. So here's hoping that will change.

The day after my last post ( I believe it was only a day later), we received the news that we would not be going back to school for the remainder of the year. Even though I was prepared for it, it just didn't seem possible for us to be able to get back to school and with not much time left, I was still heartbroken. I am still struggling to wrap my head around it and it's been 4 weeks since the news hit. We are currently in our last 6 days of school. No new assignments have been given for two weeks. We've been working with students to get caught up on missing assignments. Some kids are turning in their devices and we are saying very different goodbyes. I know every teacher is going through the same thing, and I have loved seeing everyone coming together to support each other through this time. Today is my last day of doing anything on the computer with the kids. Hosting a scattegories game, hopefully, several of them join in so I can see them one more time before they head off to the high school.

It's been 72 days since we started quarantine, things have started opening up over the past few weeks with social distancing guidelines to follow. I'm grateful for the beaches being open and restaurants are slowly getting back to normal. Outdoor seating has been open for about 3 weeks now. It's been nice being able to get out and just be around other people, even from a distance. There are a lot of changes, but I am glad things are getting back to semi-normal.

This past weekend I took a trip down to Savannah, GA. I have always enjoyed the city and wanted to get away for the weekend. I found the perfect little Air BnB right outside of downtown and decided to do it. The place I stayed made the whole trip. It was exactly what I needed for a weekend getaway. With it being Memorial Day weekend, Savannah was fairly busy, but I was able to still enjoy myself. I had signed up for a ghost beer tour. It was a lot of fun walking around the city learning more about the history. I was al little disappointed in the actual ghost part of the tour, I felt like it was mostly history, which I knew, and not very scary. So, I definitely want to go back and do another one. Honestly, my favorite part about the trip was enjoying the place I stayed. It had a treehouse and the suite I was staying in had a reading nook and skylights. When I woke up in the morning, I made myself a pot of coffee, opened the door for the cats (there were 3 that were really snuggly), and read in the reading nook for a few hours. Such a relaxing morning, and you better believe I will be staying there again.

If 2020 wasn't crazy enough already, today we are experiencing Tropical Storm Bertha. For me, I think back to a year ago, my last day in Beavercreek before moving, and how I lived through my very first tornado. It was a pretty scary evening and not knowing what kind of damage was done. Thinking back, I remember I wasn't sad the next morning driving to drop my keys off to my first apartment. I was sad about all the damage that had been done to my hometown and not knowing if or when it could be fixed. It's interesting to me what we focus on in moments like those. I think I had accepted that I was moving and things would be different, but I didn't want to remember my hometown in that way.

A year later, I sit in my new apartment, watching out the living room window this tropical storm and just hope it doesn't cause too much damage across the coast. Hopefully, we don't float away.

I feel like I am just rambling at this point, so I will go for now and maybe one day, I will focus more on what I plan to say. Practicing what I teach is the first step to this whole thing, so I think I am on the right path.

Love from the girl who is trying to stay positive during this whole thing and working on her mindset.

Quarantine Day 36

Over an entire month at home. 36 days have come and gone just like that. Yesterday I started week 5 of e-learning with my kiddos. I had a full week off for "Spring Break." It was so strange not to go anywhere or do anything during that time. I feel like I exhausted all of my usual enjoyable activities. I read, I took the dog for a walk, I took a lot of naps, I read some more, watched a little TV, played games on my phone, and then I did it all again. 

About halfway through the week and in the middle of book number 3 (of the week, I am at 8 since quarantine started) I realized how much I missed the kids and that even though I am not a fan of the online learning, at least it was giving me something to do. One day when it wasn't raining, I got the bike out and loaded it in my car and took it to Brookgreen Gardens, which thankfully is still opened, and road around there for part of the afternoon. I put the bike back in the car and walked the part of the gardens bikes can't go. I was there a few weeks prior and it was so wonderful to see more things in bloom. This is my first spring in the south and I am glad places like that are open and you can practice social distancing while also enjoying nature. I notice I breathe (then sneeze because, you know, allergies) a little deeper when I am out in the gardens. 

Starting back to the online learning yesterday was great and made the day fly. I checked in with the kids, got to see some of their faces on google meets, most of them are just getting out of bed so they tend to hide their faces from the camera, but it's still great to get to talk to them. A few even went on the virtual tours I sent them the day before break, so it was entertaining to hear their stories about some of their favorites. 

I feel like with all this extra time on my hands and being home all day every day, I should be able to keep up with blogging or journaling. But I am truly struggling to continue to know what to say. I mean most days seem to run together and I don't really do anything out of the ordinary, other than maybe spend at least $70 each time at the grocery store, for no reason, at all. I am trying to stick to a semi-normal routine, one that is similar to what I was doing when I was actually working. It seems to help me stay sane. Some days, though, I don't follow it at all and you know what I've learned? That's ok too. This is a strange time we are going through and deal with it any way you can, that's what I am trying to do, at least. 

Well, I feel like I have written a bunch of nothing, so I am going to come back another day when maybe I have more insightful things to say. 

Love from the girl who is living for the beautiful cloudless days and spending as much time on her patio as she can. 

Quarantine Day 21

Well they say that it takes 21 days to break a habit or start a new one. Here we are 21 days into this quarantine and we're still chugging along. I really hope that this does not become the new normal.

I thought I would write more, but in all honesty, the days have actually flown by. Well, most "school days" seem to fly by and I feel like I get barely anything accomplished. Then there are other days where I feel like I have nothing to do and the day drags on. I think I have found a balance of working and being on the computer and taking small breaks. I never sit this much and I am starting to feel it in my hips and my legs.

We started Week 4 of e-learning this week, I can't believe it's been a month of being out of school. It's actually gone by really fast, but I hate that I am missing the kids so much. Monday and Wednesday are my favorite days because the kids hop into our google meets and we get to check in with each other. Last week, we shared our animals and had a range of pets show up on the screen. Dogs, cats and even a bird. My honors class has been finishing up Romeo and Juliet, and although we are not in the classroom right now, they've done a great job of reading the play over google meets. We are finishing it up this week and can move on to other things.

Outside of doing school work way more than I ever asked for, like all weekend long and in the evenings, I haven't done much else. This past Saturday I walked around Brookgreen Gardens. Getting to be out in the sunshine, enjoying the flowers and walking around was so good for the soul. And before you go with the whole social distancing thing, I was. I wasn't around anyone and kept my distance when other's were near. Plus, it's an outdoor garden with acres of land, free from touching anything.

I am looking forward to this 4 day week. Friday starts our Spring Break. I am looking forward to some time off. Deciding on where to go still, maybe you could help me. Should I go to the living room, bedroom or patio? I'm leaning toward the patio if it's nice out. I get solid sunshine in the morning and then in the afternoon there's a light breeze, plus the animals love being out. I'll let you know what I officially decide later in the week, or next week.

I hope everyone is staying safe, healthy, and sane.

Love from the girl who is extremely tired of screen time.